Living Large in Carson City: Rednecks, Bigots, Evangelicals and Seditionist Edition

 The world is an unusual place and getting weirder all the time. I am reminded of my favorite author, Hunter S. Thompson, and one of his tidbits of wisdom he passed down to us before he left this veil of tears, no longer able to confront the weirdness he saw all around him. He wrote:

 “When the going gets weird, the weird turn professional.” Hunter S. Thompson Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’72 

I want to suggest to the Tea Party wingnuts that they adopt this as their party motto. It’s got pizazz. It’s describes them, and their movement to a tee. More than anything, however, it’s true. Let’s face it. Without the Republican establishment supporting them in the beginning – to exploit their numbers without giving anything in return – and today, simply out of fear of the Frankenstein’s monster they created – the Tea Party would have remained a group of predominantly old white men, wallowing in their militant Christian doctrine and griping to their heart’s content about America going to hell in a hand basket. 

Considering how the Republican strategy of dealing with the Tea Party has gone seriously south with the tail now wagging the dog, it isn’t surprising that some within the Tea Party have become embolden. Emboldened to the point that now crazy has just gotten a whole lot crazier. Take for instance the case of Trevor Loudon, the New Zealand ex-pat libertarian. who has become the darling of Tea Partiers across the nation. 

Loudon is noted for his, hmmm . . . near maniacal denouncement of President Barack Obama. Using his hate filled blog, New Zeal, he has over the years accused Obama from being everything from an Islamic sympathizer, Socialist, Marxist, and has called Obama, the Dictator-in-Chief, and of course, the worst president since WWII. Putting aside the obvious fact that here is a non-American accusing the president of the United States being responsible for everything bad that is going on in the world, the guy for good reason has been embraced by the Tea Partiers, most of whom wouldn’t recognize a lie from a canary. 

Recently, however, Loudon was invited to speak at a Tea Party event sponsored by the Metropolitan Detroit Freedom Coalition. In his speech, Loudon picked his slate for the Second American Revolution, and it is, well, a doozy. Here is the slate Loudon thinks is what the country needs to get back on track with a links to give a bit of background on each person Loudon suggests will bring a new day to the American heartland. 

President of the United States: Sen. Ted Cruz R-Texas 

Now granted, I am certain there are still sane pockets of Texas voters (some of them from the Republican establishment) who would like nothing more than to see Cruz ride off into the sunset, but to be president? I don’t think so. This is a man who defines crazy in terms of the Tea Party faithful. Here are some bits of wisdom and beliefs Cruz has uttered along the way to his Tea Party papacy. 

Five Things Everyone Should Know About GOP Senate Candidate Ted Cruz 

Don’t even get me started on his creepy evangelical father. 

Vice-President of the United States: Alan West R-US House of Representatives 

Yes, that Alan West who seems more concerned in seeing how far he can get his foot in his mouth and down his throat than being a viable candidate for an office one heartbeat away from the American presidency. West has proven to be the proverbial political bull in a china closet. His modus operandi? Slash and burn anyone who disagrees with him. 

In a special contribution to Think Progress, Zachary Bernstein pulled back the crazy veil to let us see the real man behind the gaffes: 

Rep. Allen West’s 15 Most Outrageous Statements 

Number 11 is especially telling: “WE also should be censoring the American news agencies”. 

Sec. of Treasury Sen. Rand Paul Sen. 

It isn’t that Rand Paul is such a bad choice for this position. His down home demeanor has some appeal for even the most liberal voter. However, his grasp of reality and the law seems a bit problematic. Take for instance his recently revealed instances of plagiarism, and his moronic defense of his actions calls into question his ability, not just to lead, but to understand the difference between right and wrong. Paul may have a rustic appeal, but his tendency to speak without engaging his brain is a bit frightening. I’m not sure America has seen the real Rand Paul yet.

 Making it up as he goes along  

Secretary of Energy Sarah Palin Failed Gov. of Alaska, failed vice-presidential candidate, failed Fox News commentator . . . well, the list goes on. 

Yes, Sarah Palin would be in charge of the state of energy in American. The “Drill Baby Drill” Queen of the Wackos would have a position of authority in Loudon’s “perfect cabinet” for the Tea Party. This is monumentally stupid on its face alone. 

Lest we forget: 

The 11 Dumbest Things Sarah Palin Has Said So Far 

Secretary of Labor Governor Scott Walker of Wisconsin 

Recalled (but retained his seat), union buster, liar, job killer and scandal ridden, Walker seems just the type of political figure the Tea Party can embrace with open arms. Of all the proposed cabinet members in Loudon’s list, Walker has to be one of the least understandable, and that is saying something. Other than beating the recall, Walker has made misstep after misstep in his recent political saga. His actions speak volumes about what kind of man and politician he is in the end. 

Scott Walker’s History of Dirty Tactics and Illegal Campaigning 

Secretary of Commerce Herman Cain Failed presidential candidate, business man, and former CEO of the National Restaurant Association 

Ok, no one can say that Cain is not good for a laugh. His antics during and after the 2012 Republican presidential debates are still a thing of comedic brilliance. He was always good for a laugh. Here is a good example: Political Einstein 

There is more: 

9 most ridiculed Herman Cain quotes 

Secretary of state John Bolton Former Ambassador to the UN, Neo-con, Iraq war serial liar, Bonehead. 

In a list of the absurd, Bolton is by far the outlier in this list. He is so far over the top that I am surprised that Loudon would even consider him. However, there seems to be no depth to the Tea Party’s ability to shoot themselves in the foot, so maybe it takes a certain mentality to see hope in this ridiculously bankrupt gadfly. Here is an example of who the man Bolton is at his core. 

Horrifying, personal John Bolton story

Health and Human Services Ben Carson Brilliant physician turned Gadfly 

On the surface, Carson seems like a good choice for this position. He does have the credentials on the medical side of the equation, but comes off as politically tone deaf when he opens his mouth and spouts gems like comparing the Affordable Care Act to slavery. He seems to have the political acumen of a BP oil drenched oyster in the Gulf of Mexico although in a pinch I would always go with the oyster. This and the idea that any black person would side with the Republicans and the Tea Party is simply an absurd notion that no sane person can get their head around. Here is a good summation of Carson’s creds.

Ben Carson Is the Worst Thing to Happen to Us Since He Opened His Mouth 

Attorney General Mark Levin Lawyer, author and right wing radio talk show shill 

Granted, not being an aficionado of right wing hate speech radio talk show hosts, I am understandably not partial to these guys. Levin seems to be the perfect storm of this these types of commentators. Here is Marc McDonald’s take on Levin: 

Mark Levin: The Most Extremist and Frightening Hate Wing Talker of Them All 

Secretary of Education David Barton Evangelical minister, founder of the Texas based WallBuilders and Christian revisionist 

I would assume most Americans have no idea who Barton is. It really doesn’t matter. In all likelihood, Barton’s main task would be to dismantle the Department of Education and replace it with some weird hybrid of vouchers, or better yet in his eyes, a state sponsored evangelical propagandist school along the line of the Islamic madrasa system. He erroneously believes that there is no separation of church and state in the Constitution. No, this is the land of theocracy where believers rule and the rest of us have to endure their wacked out views on socio-religious education. 

Crackpot “Historian” David Barton: The Constitution quotes the Bible “verbatim”

My overriding instinct tells me that a cabinet of this nature is an impossibility in the United States of America, but then again, I never thought G W Bush and Dick Cheney would become the president and vice-president. Weird shit happens in politics these days. Add to the equation a disaffected, ill-tempered, group made up primarily of old white guy racists and bigots and it’s anybody’s call. The wackos are on the rise and the shire is in danger. 

Or quoting Thompson again, 

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” 


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